Used as "Practice" Then Kissed? I'm Done with Him!

Chapter 4

I didn't give myself a chance to second-guess. I opened my laptop right in front of Lily and, without hesitation, switched my top choice to that well-known university in Florida.

Lily's face lit up immediately. She'd been pushing me to apply to the same school for months, and now, finally, it was happening.

But it wasn't a simple decision for me. Back in high school, Ryan and I had made a promise: after the SATs, we'd both go to his dream school in New York. It had the aerospace program he always raved about.

Even though I didn't particularly like the cold or care much for the engineering-heavy vibe of the place, I'd stuck to that plan for three years. Our families had always assumed Ryan and I would end up together after high school.

But now? I couldn't find a single reason to go to New York anymore.

Actually, after everything that went down today, if I kept clinging to Ryan, I'd never forgive myself.

I just wanted to be somewhere far, far away. It didn't matter where, as long as Ryan wasn't there.

If he was in the North, then I'd go South.

Before bed, I ran a hot bath, hoping it would somehow help me feel clean again.

But as I stripped off my clothes, the bruises on my skin were still there, stark and obvious.

The memories from last night flooded my mind, uninvited, his skin so hot against mine, his breath burning in my ear as we tangled together, the heat of his touch still seemed to linger on my body.

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away.

I grabbed the roughest loofah I could find and scrubbed my skin, over and over, not stopping until my body was flushed and sore.

I was trying to erase the most humiliating memory of my life, as if it could be washed away.

But the pain only made it worse, keeping me up all night, restless and unsettled.

Ryan didn't send any more texts.

We'd been saying goodnight to each other every night for six years, since we first got phones. That little routine was my constant. But now, it was gone. Just like that.

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it had to happen sooner or later.

I knew I had to start letting go, and tonight, right now, was the time to begin.

I tossed and turned, sleep barely creeping in, fragmented and restless, until just before dawn.

That's when I felt it. Felt him. A soft, fleeting kiss on my forehead. So light, so gentle, it almost felt like a dream.

But was it?