My Sweet, Tyrant Lycan Mate

Chapter Eighteen

A Mind and Heart At War

Lily’s POV

The moment “I” stabbed Alex replayed in my mind like a broken record.

When the dagger slashed across his face, his face contorted into anguish. In my nightmare, it was just us two.

“I only wanted to protect us, Lily. How could you do this to me?”

I wanted to tell him that it was the Lycan King who made me do it, but when I looked around, it was just me. In my nightmare, I killed him willingly.

As I pushed the dagger further into Alex’s stomach, blood poured out profusely. It covered my hands and my arms, and soon, it began to pool up to my ankles. Blood continued to flood my dreamscape until I was drowning in it.

In my dream, I was screaming for help.

That was when my body jolted awake and my senses slowly came back to me. I was also screaming out in the real world because at that moment, the Lycan King woke up from his sleep.

He pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair and at the time, it felt good. I needed to be comforted after that hellish dream.

But when I realized who held me, I was able to come back to my senses and realize that I was torn.

When I was told that the Lycan King was a brutal, ruthless, and cold-blooded killer, I believed it. I knew it the moment I watched as he burned Alice alive on the first day we arrived, and when he commanded Cerberus to kill Anny because she was “being too loud.”

From the outside, the Lycan King was nothing more than a monster through and through.

But then for whatever reason, he chose me to be his maid. I was the one that would sleep in his bed just so he could fall asleep. I would be the one he’d rest his head on while relaxing in the pool.

I would be the one he’d trust enough to mindlink with and show the experience of living with the Fire Wolf. And I’d be the one he’d kiss before bedtime.

I never thought that the Lycan King was capable of tenderness, but he was. And he showed it to me multiple times. It was what I fell in love with.

But after what he did yesterday and how he forced me to end Alex’s life, that was what pulled me back to the real world.

In the real world–the Lycan King was still ruthless and he was evil.

“What’s wrong, Lily? Why were you screaming?” His calm voice pulled me from my thoughts.

Instead of answering, I took a deep breath and inhaled his familiar scent. He smelled like a calming campfire out in the middle of the woods.

The Lycan King let out a sigh. “If you’re too afraid to talk about it, we can always mindlink.”

I shook my head. “No, thank you…”

My chest felt tight from being in his presence, my heart and mind were at war with each other. I knew I needed some time alone to think.

I climbed out of his arms and rushed out of the room. When I was upset after having a fight with Jonathan or failing a quiz, I used to go to my mom’s rose garden. Having the tulip garden was almost like having a piece of my mom with me, so I decided to go there.

I walked towards the clearing of the garden and sat down in the chair. When I looked up at the master bedroom window, I saw the Lycan King looking down at me.

I sighed to myself as I looked down at my feet.

The soft side of him has to be real. The tenderness, the way he holds me, the way he shows me he cares… It has to mean something to him.

I traced my lips with my finger, remembering the night he first kissed me.

To him, I’m still probably nothing more than a maid, though. Not a mate. I probably don’t mean as much to him as I’d like to think.

But even if I did mean something to him, the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t respect my views. He doesn’t understand that I don’t have it in me to kill. I feel like that’s not a bad thing… Not wanting to go through life killing literally anyone who’s wronged you.

It’s illegal, for starters…

I sighed.

But there’s no way I can demand respect from a king as a maid… There’s no use…

I looked up at the window again to see the Lycan King looking down at me. I looked away and took a sip from a glass of water I grabbed before coming out into the garden.

Looking to the horizon, I wondered what my future was going to be like, and how I was going to sort out my conflicting feelings for the Lycan King.

Suddenly, a severe pain shot through my stomach. It was like I was being stabbed. I fell out of my chair and rolled to the ground.

Soon, pain shot up through every part of my body and it began to drain me of my energy. I was too weak to stand up.

The pain continued and it got to the point where I started crying. I laid on my side and began to vomit, feeling the pressure from the pain crushing my internal organs.

Wave after wave crashed inside of me and it was like time was grinding to a halt. I continued to vomit and cry, my vision obscured by my tears.

Within a matter of minutes, my life began to flash before my eyes. Memories from my childhood up until this very moment played in my mind like a movie.

I wanted to scream for help and it was at that moment that I wanted the Lycan King to be the one to save me from the jaws of death.

But when I looked up at the window to fall for him, there was no one there.